Love and Truth
by L'il Senzu
Summary: They have always been close to each other but with everything that's happened, some things do change. Daryl pushes their relationship into something else but Carol just can't figure it all out. What would you be willing to do to make someone happy? Most of story takes place in Alexandria. 3rd POV, Carol's perspective. Caryl. Please RR.
1. Chapter 1

This is based on a very strange thought that I had the other day. Carol has been very much transformed since her original character. But the effects of long periods of domestic abuse never 100% disappear. I feel like she would never, ever let someone abuse her again but its possible its still in her nature to let some things happen, like maybe being used. Also, Carol would give anything for the people she loves. Combine those two things and I feel like its possible for this story to occur.

Daryl is just a little OOC I think. Everything is from Carol's perspective. I am going to leave it up to you whether the feelings expressed in this are truly legitimate or if maybe what Daryl and Carol have each gone through is making them believe they're feeling something they're not, in very different ways.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters therein.

Love and Truth

Chapter 1

One could argue that they'd been dancing around it for a couple years. One could argue that. Sophia had brought them together but they'd clicked in a way that no one could have expected. But they should have. They were both broken long before the dead began to walk, and its intriguing how broken souls can mesh together to become somewhat whole again. And that's what they did. To Carol, Daryl was a truer friend than she had ever had. He protected her in the beginning and then he helped teach her to protect herself. He wasn't a weak man who needed a weak woman to feel powerful. He enjoyed Carol's growth into the fighter she'd become. To Daryl, Carol was his anchor, support, and, often, his link to rationality. She meant more to him than anyone that wasn't blood ever had. She wasn't afraid to call him on his bullshit but never tried to change who he was either. They were best friends and the love between them was absolute.

Sometimes their family joked about the two of them being a couple. Carol would merely chuckle and, if Daryl was around, slyly say something suggestive. Daryl would usually scowl or roll his eyes and huff some sarcastic remark. Carol knew the subject made Daryl uncomfortable so she joked about it herself sometimes, but only when they were alone. Over time Daryl's reactions got more mild and he occasionally flirted back, awkwardly. This ease of relationship, their sarcasm and joking, was comforting to Carol.

As time went on they developed stronger relationships with the others in their group. They were no longer each others' only support. They no longer always gravitated straight to each other. Carol began picking up more jobs to stay busy, Daryl was always working on some mission. But somehow the closeness never wavered. It wasn't always shown in what they did with each other but what they didn't do with anyone else. Daryl never so casually touched anyone else, didn't walk with his arm around anyone else's shoulders or waist. Carol talked to the others plenty, but only truly confided in Daryl. Carol didn't spend most of her time within sight of the gate every time everyone went out on a run.

Maybe some could argue it had been building for years... but Carol was content with the way things were. After she was exiled, she'd wondered if he'd find her but knew things wouldn't change either way. After the prison fell, everyone was separated and then Terminus happened. When Daryl had charged at her and wrapped her in that hug, Carol felt like she'd found her home again. Daryl felt his heart thaw. Things changed a little after that. Carol had missed him terribly but felt he was a little different towards her; a little too desperate to forget the past and build a new future with her. She was fine with forgetting the past but his sudden attachment to her was just ever so slightly strange-like a taste that isn't quite unpleasant but unfamiliar. Being a little protective, offering to carry things for her, sleeping so close that they physically touched, randomly touching her hand, her shoulder, her neck, whenever he moved past her, none of those things were negative but they were not typical frequent behavior for Dixon and it puzzled her. She excused it as him having missed her.

After Beth died, Daryl closed off again for a few days. Carol knew enough to give him his space. What surprised her though was that he didn't give her any. He was emotionally vacant, impossibly quiet, but still he was always _there_ , right beside her. She let him stay, let him touch, let him grab her hand at night and pull her back into him, wordlessly. He was hurting, they all were, and if her presence brought him some kind of comfort, she was okay with that.


	2. Chapter 2

When it comes to Alexandria, I am taking some liberties with the flow of time, basically in that I'm pretending they're there longer before the chaos begins.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Walking Dead. I wouldn't have killed certain characters. And other characters I'd bring back just to kill again lol.

Chapter 2

Things didn't get too strange until Alexandria. Once they split the houses Eugene, Rosita, Abraham, Sasha, and Tara went to stay in the second house. Maggie and Glenn took a downstairs bedroom. Rick, Carl and Judith took the master bedroom. Michonne took her own room next to Rick's and had smiled and told Carol she was welcome to split her room so long as she didn't hog the covers or sleep naked. Carol had laughed and would have moved her things in but after her trip to the food storage building found her possessions missing.

She'd found them in the small bedroom at the far end of the upstairs hallway, next to Daryl's bag. Daryl had not asked, or even discussed this arrangement with her at all. His expectation that she would stay with him miffed her slightly, but she let it go. With things changing so rapidly for their group, maybe it was comforting for him to keep some things the same. After all, when they had taken in the masses from Woodbury, and other people later, the two of them had shared a cell, although never a bed, to help accommodate space for the newcomers.

The first night, Carol had stayed busy. Helping the others get clothing, stocking their kitchen as much as was allowed, organizing dishes and personal items, tending to Judith, really anything she could find to do so that when Daryl was home and going up to bed, he went into that room first. She walked in a few minutes behind him to find him sitting on the bed, taking off his boots.

"Bout time you turned in." he muttered in greeting as he worked on his laces.

She scoffed. "Don't think I'm ever going to get used to sleeping a full night again." She watched him for a moment and then looked over him at the headboard of the one queen sized bed in the room. "So you finally decided to get me into bed." She teased.

He snorted. "Oh shut up."

She sat down next to him then, taking off her own shoes. "Seriously, though, you okay with both of us sleeping here?" She asked, keeping her voice light.

He looked at her then, brow crinkling. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged. Taking their shoes and tossing them towards the closet, she went to their dresser and pulled out a pair of flannel pajamas. She thought of it as theirs only as a technicality. Although she had grabbed some clothing for Daryl, he hadn't shown any interest in them. She went to the bathroom to change and luxuriated in the ability to brush her teeth and wash her face before bed. When she came back Daryl was laying nearly fully dressed on top of the sheets, his vest and holey socks the only items he'd bothered to remove. He'd pulled the comforter off the bed since it was so warm.

"You know, we're at least somewhat safe here, for now. You don't have to sleep fully dressed. You could even shower." she said with a teasing smile.

"You just want me naked." he grinned.

Her eyes widened slightly. He flirted with her so rarely. But then she laughed. "Suit yourself. But now that I don't smell, I'm starting to notice how much you smell. You should at least find something in those clothes I got for you so I can wash what you're wearing tomorrow." With that she climbed into the bed, sliding under the covers on her side even though that kept her movements limited since he was holding the sheets down on his.

He turned to her. "So long as you didn't get me anything as ugly as the shit you've been wearing, I'll think about it." he mocked.

"Its a costume. And by the reactions I get from these people, a damned good one. They're never going to suspect me, Daryl."

"Hurmph. Well your pjs are ugly too."

She reached over and smacked his arm lightly. "Jerk."

He chuckled, getting out of bed to get under the top sheet, like her. The exhaustion of the day began pulling at Carol strongly and she turned away from him to settle into a cozy position. Suddenly she felt his fingers touch her hand lightly before finding her hip and then he slid his arm over her waist, shifting closer to her but not so close as their bodies were touching.

She held still, not quite tense but simply unmoving as he found a comfortable position behind her, his arm around her their only point of physical contact. His breath slowed as he fell asleep within minutes but she lay awake for nearly a half hour before drifting off.

In the morning she woke up with his arm wrapped tightly around her, his calloused fingers sprawled under her pajama top and against the skin of her side, and his face pressed against the back of her neck. She laid there for a few minutes, feeling his hot breathe cascade down her back and his fingers twitch against her skin every so often, and wondered what it all meant.

She wasn't sure if he was pushing their relationship towards something altogether different or if their friendship had just reached a level where this kind of physical contact was okay. When she was younger she had slept in her friends' beds during sleepovers, even male friends as a teenager, but this felt different. This felt again like that strange taste she couldn't place and wasn't sure if she liked or not.

She'd slipped out of his arms and out of bed silently, grabbing her clothes for the day and dashing off to the bathroom to get ready. When she came to put her dirty clothes away, he was sitting up in bed, putting his boots on. She wasn't sure if he'd woken up when she'd pulled away or when she was in the shower, so wasn't sure if he'd been aware of how close he had been holding her. But either way, he said nothing about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Did I mention I didn't proofread this? Sorry about that.

Disclaimer: Still don't own TWD. Can I own Daryl though? Please?

Chapter 3

The rest of the day went normally. She barely saw Daryl as he was out with Aaron. She herself stayed busy helping with the old folks that day. Daryl came home as she was cooking dinner. Carl was out with the other kids, Judith was playing in the other room-the monitor running behind Carol as she cooked. Glenn and Maggie were in their room, Michonne was in the shower and Rick was still out. Tara had come by earlier to get ideas for recipes as she and Rosita had been nominated cooks of their house and while Rosita could cook basics, Tara was clueless.

She had just left and Carol was concentrated on the stovetop when she felt breath on the back of her neck and a hand touched her hip. She whipped around, automatically reaching for the place she usually kept her knife. He jumped back slightly.

"Easy there, Carol. Just me." he laughed.

"You know better than that." she reprimanded.

He reached behind her to the counter where her knife was laying. "And you know better than this. Why isn't it on you?"

"Oh, I had a visit earlier from Joanna and I threw it there because it doesn't really fit with my new image."

"What did she want?"

"She was looking for Rick." Carol turned back to the pasta sauce, turning the stove down so it wouldn't burn.

He leaned over her shoulder then, both his hands gripping her hips lightly. She stilled because it felt like such a strangely couple-like pose.

"What're you making?" he asked, his face close to hers.

"Its like an Alfredo sauce. Only less cheesy because they didn't really have any cheese but Parmesan, and what I could get was limited. But its not bad." she pulled her spoon out, and turned, dislodging his hands.

Instead of backing away as she expected him to, he stayed close so his body was mere inches from hers. She inched back as much as she could without hitting the sauce pan and held the spoon up to his mouth. He leaned forward just enough to lick off the spoon, his eyes staying connected to hers. Her breath caught at the intimacy of the moment. She pulled the spoon back suddenly, tossing it back in the pot before pulling away from him and escaping the kitchen.

She went out to the porch and sat down heavily, trying her best to make sense of the situation. Everything was starting to come together. All the excuses she had been making for him ever since Terminus didn't seem valid anymore. She was now certain that Daryl was trying to push their relationship into something else.

When had this happened? Why had it happened? Of course she had been flirting with him since the winter before the prison, but she had been joking around. She never actually expected him to take her seriously. She had certainly never considered that they would end up romantically involved. He was her best friend, she trusted him and she certainly loved him, but not like that. And since when had he decided he was interested in her? The timing of it was off to her. Had he had a realization when they were separated? Had the loss of Beth played a role? Was she a coping mechanism for his grief? She just did not know.

Before she could delve into her thoughts too deeply, she started at the feel of a hand on her shoulder.

"You've got to stop sneaking up on me like that." she said softly.

"Sorry." he whispered. He sat down next to her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, smiling at him reassuringly. "Of course. You just...surprised me..." She stopped and looked at him seriously for a moment. "Daryl, things are changing with you and me, aren't they?"

He stared at her with those intense eyes for a moment and very slowly reached out and cupped the side of her face with his hand. "What if they were? Would that be a bad thing?"

She stared at him, watched the emotions he tried so often to hide play in his eyes. She suddenly realized that, for whatever reason, this was important to him, and if she turned him down he would be badly hurt. And what if their friendship was never the same because of that? Maybe, just maybe, this was a phase Daryl needed to go through. Maybe he really just needed someone to be there for him like this right now. Maybe she would be doing more harm than good by turning him down. And really, if this was what Daryl needed, didn't she love him enough to be there for him?

She could see him begin to shut down at her hesitance and smiled at him reassuringly. "No, it wouldn't be a bad thing."

He smiled then and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her cheek before getting up and going inside.


	4. Chapter 4

So Rick speaks in this. I actually think I did a good job of keeping that fantastic, crazy bastard in character. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: So who thinks Glenn is alive? If I owned TWD, he definitely would be. But I don't.

Chapter 4

Carol was rather relieved that the coming days left them both so busy that there wasn't much time for them to interact. Daryl was out recruiting or at Eric's house working on the bike. Sometimes Daryl even ate dinner there. Carol was running around playing junior league and giving cooking pointers, as well as secretly doing reconnaissance around town.

When they'd pass each other they'd exchange greetings, often a sarcastic remark from one or the other, and if there was time they'd catch up with what was going on. Their conversations felt normal, easy. But the touching continued.

Carol had originally tried to keep physical distance from him, walking a few feet away or busying herself with something across the room but soon gave up. Daryl was just too persistent. Even when just walking past each other, his hand would graze against her arm or shoulder as he passed. When they had time to actually stop and talk some he sat next to her or hovered beside her, sliding his hands up and down her arms, gently rubbing her back or shoulders, or swinging an arm around her waist absently. She never pulled away but never initiated contact anymore either. Before she'd always been comfortable touching his face, hair, hands, even leaning against him or kissing his forehead or cheek a few times. But now she left the touching to him.

The strangest part, Carol thought, was how he didn't shy away from exhibiting this new behavior in front of anyone in their family. He was careful around the Alexandrians, of course: soccer mom Carol didn't fit with rogue Daryl in their minds, but if it was just Sasha, Glenn, Rick or Eugene even, Daryl didn't seem to care if they saw, for example, his hand stroke along Carol's side as they sat talking with them in the living room.

Carol wasn't sure if any of them had asked Daryl about this new development but she was definitely getting raised eyebrows from Tara, winks from Michonne, teasing grins from Maggie and sly questioning from Glenn, which she always deflected with subject changes and frigid looks. Finally Rick pulled her aside one day.

"Hey I wanted to talk to you." he began seriously.

Carol, instantly all business, answered back, "Okay, what's going on?"

"That's what I wanted to ask you about."

She frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You and Daryl.."

Carol's eyes hardened. "What about me and Daryl?"

He took a breath. "Look, whatever is going on between you and Daryl, that's your business. But I need to make sure that whatever is going on isn't going to interfere with your ability to protect our own. I need you both alert and on guard at all times. Survival is what's important. I can't control what you do, but if you get distracted, you endanger the group."

She stared at him coolly for a moment before speaking up. "Both Daryl and I are aware of our responsibility to this group. And you're right, its our business, and we'll take care of it."

He looked at her severely before nodding and they left it at that. Carol never asked Daryl if Rick ever spoke to him about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Also, about the chapters, I kinda just wrote this all in one big document and didn't actually think through where I was going to split it up...mainly because I wasn't going to split it up at the beginning. But it just kept getting longer and longer so I realized I had to. So I'm trying to split it up with cut and paste now and make it make sense...but I realize the lengths are no where near consistent. Sorry about that.

Disclaimer: Walking Dead no es mio.

Chapter 5

Nighttime...nighttime was a whole other adjustment for Carol. No matter how much time they could spend together during the day, they were always together at night. The first few nights went just like the first. Daryl slept fully clothed (although Carol had managed to get him to accept three new pairs of jeans and a couple button ups that she was certain were going to lose their sleeves soon enough, and he thankfully finally showered and changed), and Carol always threw on a dowdy pair of pajamas. She'd fall asleep with just one arm around her and wake up wrapped in both arms, bodies pressed together. She wasn't always able to sneak out before he'd wake up. Some days he'd just get up but other days he'd nuzzle into the back of her neck, kiss her nape or a shoulder lightly before disentangling himself.

After a couple weeks in Alexandria, Daryl seemed more comfortable there than Carol felt. She knew he was starting to feel safe at night when he stopped sleeping in his day clothes. One night she came up to bed to find him on the bed, wearing only boxers and a worn tee shirt. She bit her lip nervously and chose not to mention this change. Climbing into bed, she was surprised even more by his instant movement to her side. He spooned behind her, his arms circling around her torso and legs intertwining with hers. The increased warmth of his skin on hers was strange but oddly comforting. The feel of his warm breath on the side of her face eased her heartrate.

"Didn't see you much today. You have fun playing homemaker?" he asked, the vibrations of words rumbling through her body.

She chuckled. "I wouldn't call this charade fun. Its surviving. Its much easier to survive this way, but I still don't really enjoy it. How did your trip out go?"

"Didn't find anyone today. Found the signs of a group that camped near here recently, three people. Tracked them seven miles West. There was a campsite, no people. Lots of blood, looked like walkers got them." He never censored the details around her. She appreciated that.

They continued to talk for a while before finally settling down to sleep. He leaned forward then and kissed her shoulder before she drifted off.

The next day Daryl left early for another run. Carol didn't see him the entire day. She was already in bed when he came home. She sat up when he turned the light on.

"Hey." She yawned. "You're home late. Bring someone back?"

"He smiled but shook his head. "Nah. Found a drug store that hadn't been taken. Wasn't too hard to take out the staff inside. Had to run back to get a truck because there was so much left. Got a bunch of medical supplies and meds. Also grabbed some general shit, cigs, food, toys, soap and stuff. Took a while to get everything loaded and then I stuck around and helped them do inventory when I got back."

"Sounds like a good find.

He nodded absently before reaching into the pack he brought with him on runs. "We're supposed to give over everything we find. But I figured keeping one thing wouldn't hurt." He handed her a jar. "Remembered you said once you missed these."

She looked down at the glass jar in her hands and felt a grin spread over her face. "Maraschino cherries." She said softly, voice filled with wonder. "How—why...thank you." Standing up, she put her hand over the side of his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He grabbed her hand and lowered it, twining their fingers together before she could step back and she turned to look into his eyes. Daryl was staring at her intensely. Before she could find something to say he lifted his other hand and slid his fingers through the short hair above her nape. His gaze traveled over her face and then he gently propelled her forward, meeting her lips with his own in a soft kiss.

It only lasted a moment before he pulled back a few inches and she was met with that intense gaze again. And then he smiled. Moving both his hands to frame her face, Carol suddenly found herself pulled in again for another kiss; this one was harder, his lips moving against hers with more intent. Lost in it, she responded, opening her mouth as his tongue sought entrance. He made a low sound in his throat as he intensified the kiss, sliding his tongue against hers as he tasted her. Finally he pulled away with one last chaste kiss to her numb lips. He smiled at her again, gently caressing her face before saying softly, "You're welcome."

He walked away, going to the other side of the room to get read for bed. Carol stared into space for just a moment, realizing dumbly that she was still gripping the jar of cherries.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter does get graphic. I tried to censor it as much as I could without taking away from it. I figured, its no worse than cable. Also, this is the last chapter. Please review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: The Walking Dead is not my intellectual property, just my fantasyland.

Chapter 6

Everything changed after that. Daryl became obsessed with kissing her. Every time he left, every time he came back, he would kiss her. Every night before he fell asleep, every morning before one of them got out of bed, another kiss. Sometimes they'd be sitting together talking about what was going on with Rick or the town and he would stop to pull her into a hot kiss, gripping the back of her neck as he plundered her mouth. She responded, listening to the guttural moans that reverberated through his chest when they got intense, smiling softly at him when he pulled away from more chaste pecks. She'd feel his warm skin, see his chest rise as his breathing rate increased sometimes, listen to his heart pound, and wish her own body was behaving the same.

Because as much as she allowed his actions, as much as she cared for him, the kisses were just kisses for her. And as the days went by and he grew more greedy of her and stared at her like she was his Juliet, she wished, oh how she wished, that she loved him; loved him like that, at least. Wouldn't this all be so much easier if she could feel what he was? Instead she felt like she was in a play, playing a role just as much as she was playing a role for Alexandria. It all felt empty to her and she hated herself for being unable to reciprocate his feelings. So she pretended.

Maybe she should have gone into acting. She fooled him, and the rest of their family, as much as she fooled the Alexandrians. The first time Daryl kissed her in front of the group, there was a strange silence before clapping. Carol turned, flabbergasted, to see Glenn, Michonne, Tara and Maggie applauding.

"About damn time!" Glenn called out.

"Seriously. I've been waiting for this for over a year." Michonne added.

Daryl pushed the hair out of his eyes and shoved past them, muttering a "Oh fuck off." but they could all see his bashful smile as he walked out.

Carol just shook her head and ignored them as she went to the kitchen. They had all seen this coming? But why hadn't she? Why did she feel like she had been left out of the loop? And how could they all see something that she couldn't even feel?

It was a week after their first kiss that Daryl intensified their relationship again. They had both turned into bed and she curled up on her side like she always did when he slid his hand up her arm and pulled gently but insistently on her shoulder.

"C'mere." he said softly, continuing to pull.

She acquiesced, rolling over and sliding into his waiting arm. He curled his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in so she was laying half on his chest.

He kissed her forehead. "Much better."

They lay like that for a moment and Carol thought this was just a new sleeping position when his other hand came under her chin and gently pushed her face up. His kisses began slow, but gradually intensified until he was kissing her hungrily, his lips nearly bruising hers as his tongue wandered rampantly. At the same time his hand drifted down from her chin to slide under her top, seeking skin. He moved up to stroke her breast. She shuddered as his calloused fingers ran over her nipple and he suddenly tore his mouth from hers. Staring down at her with burning eyes, he rolled them so she was below on her back, below him.

"Take this damn thing off." he growled lowly, pulling at her pj top.

She fumbled with the buttons for a moment before just yanking it over her head. She didn't wear a bra to bed so she was suddenly exposed before him. He buried his face in her neck, kissing and sucking as he caressed her breasts. His mouth slowly descended, lips and tongue leaving a trail before attending to the sensitive nubs. She sucked in a breath hard. She'd always had very erogenous nipples and they hadn't been touched in a very long time. She could feel him grin against her skin and felt his hand slide lower to the edge of her pajama pants.

A hot-cold feeling erupted in her stomach and she felt so conflicted. Once this point was crossed, there was no going back. They could never be just friends again. But maybe they never could again anyways.

She wiggled her hips for him, helping him ease the pants down. He pulled back, moving so he could quickly shed his own clothing. She was dry, she knew that and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when he realized it too. She mumbled something softly about her age and that being a common issue and being nervous. And he just smiled reassuringly, scooted down the bed and took very good care of the whole wetness issue.

When he finally slid himself in, she gasped, not expecting the burn of stretching. Apparently the old wives tales of women getting tighter when they don't have sex for a long time were actually true. To his credit, Daryl also noticed how unprepared her body was for the intrusion and began very gently, kissing her languidly.

When things became more comfortable he increased his speed, soft moans and grunts dripping from his lips as he thrust harder. Carol shut her eyes, her head thrown back as she felt the soft tingles that rippled up her core from his every driving force. He finished inside her with a growl and then fell forward, his sweaty forehead resting between her breasts.

She reached up and softly ran her fingers through his hair, the first time she had touched him since he had begun. He lifted his head to look at her and she smiled at him, leaning forward to kiss his temple.

"I love you." he whispered.

She shut her eyes but kept the smile on her face. She had the sudden urge to cry. But at the end of the day, she just wanted Daryl to be happy.

"I love you, too."

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SO, please review and let me know what you think. And also let me know how you interpreted their feelings. Was Carol right and is Daryl simply using her to comfort himself, whether consciously or unconsciously? Has Carol simply gone too numb to feel love when its actually there? Or is Daryl really in love with her and Carol just wishes she had the heart to friendzone him? Or does it all mean something else? How do YOU see it?

PS: Just in case you wanted to know, Carol does keep up this charade forever-until one of them dies or gets separated at least.


End file.
